Robotic Tallest
by cgaussie
Summary: **includes Irken nudity** The tale of Red and Purple's early days together, their hate-hate relationship *not yaoi* lands the two troopers into danger on a new planet.
1. In the beginning...

Robotic Tallest  
  
By: Cartman's Girl  
  
Note: Okay then, by demand by a fan, I'm writing another Red and Purple fanfic! Squee, eh? Anyway, this is based before the two were the Tallest, my own way of looking at it. And I'm not gonna have them using a different name, cause I find that a *tad* annoying at times; the names they were given in the Naming Chamber is the names they use now, Purple and Red. So there.  
  
Now this story will get violent in the next chapter, and there is Irken nudity. Not that it matters....  
  
~*~  
  
Two cylinders blinked to life in the same second that day, it had never happened before, so the robotic arm couldn't tell which one to bring to life first. Instead of two arms shooting out to open the capsules, four arms. Two arms each opened the container, and the two new borns fell to the ground.  
  
After the pods were attached to their backs, the largest arm lowered itself to them, and brought the two to life with the same life spark. Both got to their feet right away, looking up at the cold metal arm.  
  
"Welcome to life, Irken child.. er, childs. Report for duty." The arm said.  
  
The two saluted in the same instance,  
  
"Yes cold unfeeling robot arm!" they both chimed, but were grabbed by another pair of arms and zipped off into the darkness.  
  
After being clothed in the tube, the two landed in a room where other Irken newborns were situated. The one who was slightly bigger landed first, and the smaller one ended up landing on his head.  
  
"OW!" screeched the first one, who had purple eyes. He got to his feet, shoving the smaller, red eyed one off him. "Watch where you're landing!"  
  
"Oh sooorrrrryyyy! I had no idea you were so special!" the red-eyed one retorted, getting to his feet.  
  
"I'm bigger then you! I AM more important!" the purple-eyed one replied, standing now besides the smaller one. And yes, he was taller! The smaller one only came up half way of his head,  
  
"Grr." He growled to himself.  
  
Soon what they expected happened, a tall Irken entered the room and assigned them their life duties. He stopped in front of the shorter one, who was smaller then the other Irkens in the room. He smiled slightly, loving deciding the fate of Irkens.  
  
"...Invader." He simply said, then turned to the purple-eyed one. "You too."  
  
"Yee!" the red-eyed one declared, he was small yes, but he had been chosen to be an Invader! The one besides him rolled his purple eyes in disgust.  
  
Soon a blue-clad female Irken entered the room, and she began the process of naming the Irkens. Soon she stopped by the smallest one, she smiled softly at him and lowered her finger to touch his antennae. She then gave him his name,  
  
"Red."  
  
The newly named Red beamed, the name suited him that's for sure! He looked at the one besides him as he was named, and the blue-clad female left the room. Red then shoved the tall one besides him and wiggled his antennas slightly.  
  
"Hiya, I'm Red."  
  
"I'm Purple." Purple replied, not impressed by Red's antennae wiggling which ended up poking him in the eye.  
  
~*~  
  
The young would be Invaders were lead down the hallway by an Invader General. The walls of the hallway were clad with weapons, images of past Tallest Ones and other assorted crafts.  
  
The last image was of the recent Tallest, Tallest Vasquez (Hehehe). He had pure white eyes, something very odd to the Irken world, but he was the tallest Irken thus making him the ruler of the planet.  
  
"Oooooo..." went all the young Irkens as they saw his image, he looked very impressive!  
  
"Keep it moving you worms!" barked the Invader General, the Irkens stopped dawdling and scooted after him. Soon they entered a room which was the clothing area. An Irk sat behind a counter, and stood to attention as the Invader General entered.  
  
"These young troops are here to collect their uniforms." He snarled at the Irk, whose name tag read Spectra.  
  
"Sir, yes Sir!" Spectra replied, she, since Spectra was a female, turned to the group. "All normal sized?"  
  
"All except that one." The General pointed to Red, "Give him a small."  
  
"Oh, I'm not sure if we have smalls. We'll have to order it in, up to then he'll have to wear the normal sized one." Spectra claimed, looking down at Red.  
  
"Whatever! I just want these troops in uniform!"  
  
~*~  
  
Soon all the young troops were in uniform. The clothing fitted them all like a glove, well... maybe not all.  
  
"Dah! My gloves!" Red pulled his leather gloves back onto his skinny arms. All of his clothing was hanging on him loosely, he could have jumped and became naked in an instant if he so wanted.  
  
"Hehe, what's wrong Reddy? Need a hover belt?" Purple sniggered,  
  
"Keep your comments to yourself Purple!" Red snapped, one of his boots slipping down.  
  
"All right troops! Here are your rooms where you will be boarding. You will be sharing with one other Irken and that is all! You have no say in who you are paired with! Whom you are paired with will be like a family! Brother, sister, whatever! You will be sent on missions with this Irken, eat with this Irken, heck even BATHE if you're into that kind of thing! Here." The Irken General then handed each of the Irkens a mechanical key which had their name, and another Irken's name on it.  
  
Soon hollers of "Who's Green?" and, "Who's Pink?" started coming around, but two of them didn't have to do that. Red and Purple just glared at each other, then down at their keys.  
  
"Purple and Red."  
  
~*~  
  
"This is MY side of the room, all right? You dare come over to my side I'll zap your brains into putty!"  
  
They had only been in their quarters for a little while, and already Red and Purple were in disagreements with each other. Red was drawing a line down the middle of the room, leading from a window to the door.  
  
"Well don't come onto my side either! I don't want your shortness cramping my style!" Purple yelled back from his bed.  
  
"You're the one who cramps my style with your tall... TALLNESS!" Red shouted. Purple leapt off his bed and stood at the white line,  
  
"Say it to my face you limp noodle boy!" Purple screeched, and Red stood at the white line, eye to mouth with Purple.  
  
"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO CRAMPS MY STYLE WITH YOUR TALL TALLNESS!!" Red hollered. The two glared at each other, aw, Irken staring contest. How quaint.  
  
They stood there for a while, just glaring. Then Purple put his foot onto Red's side of the line.  
  
"Ah-ah-ah! Look what I'm dooing!" he sung merrily. Red looked down,  
  
"Hey stop that!" he yelled, and stamped down on Purple's foot.  
  
"AH!" Purple fell back, but his pod's spider legs shot out and stopped him from toppling over. He hopped a bit, rubbing his sore foot.  
  
"HAH! Not so tough now tall guy!" Red chortled, hands on his hips.  
  
Purple just glared at him, and by now the sun was setting and casting shadows in the room. Purple saw Red's shadow become longer and taller, and soon his shadow was towering across the wall he was stood against, and as Red laughed his shadow mirrored his moves.  
  
"It doesn't matter anyway! You're probably gonna remain short your whole life `n then you'll end up working at Food Courtia or something! Serving Taller Irkens because that job suits you!" Purple spat at Red,  
  
"Oh sure, stop giving me YOUR future Purple. So you're the tallest Irken born today, BIG deal! You've got a big head anyway!" Red snapped.  
  
"MY HEAD'S NOT BIG!" Purple screamed, balling his fists into balls of rage.  
  
This time, Red saw Purple's shadow now growing taller and higher, and soon his engulfed the wall he was stood against with the shadowy blackness of a tall Irken.  
  
"We'll see who becomes what Purple! I hope a carnivorous Rat claws your eyeballs out!" Red screeched,  
  
"I hope a sofa's dropped on your tiny pathetic body!" Purple yelled.  
  
The two stood once again face to mouth with each other, glaring again. Their long shadows, now cast upon the wall which held the doorway into the hall did the same thing. Two young Irkens stood glaring at each other, and their tall shadows doing the same thing.  
  
~*~  
  
Time passed quickly for the troops, soon the days become months, months became years, and years grew into many more years.  
  
Their Academy days far behind them, Red and Purple were still a pair, weather they liked it or not. They went on expeditions together, scouting new areas wanted for Irken conquest and other fun things.  
  
Red's height was still short, but he wasn't considered tiny anymore. Purple, on the other hand, was taller then the other Irkens his age. He stood a head above the rest, while Red stood an antennae below them.  
  
The two were on a new mission, they had to scout a supposably `un-inhabited' planet. Their SIR units stood off to the side while the two drove their Voot Runner.  
  
"Which way do we go?" Red asked, since Purple was reading the map.  
  
"We go right at the planet of comfy couches." Purple explained, but then turned the map around. "No sorry, left."  
  
"Is it left or right you idiotic parasite?!" Red sneered, as the planet grew closer.  
  
"Sheesh! Don't be such a grouch! It's left." Purple replied,  
  
"Left, right?" Red muttered,  
  
"No, left." Purple said.  
  
"I said left!" Red snapped,  
  
"You said right!" Purple snapped back,  
  
"I did not!"  
  
"Did so!"  
  
"Did not!"  
  
"JUST TURN!"  
  
Red turned so sharply, Purple was thrown off his feet and crashed into the two SIR units in a crumpled heap. Red sniggered to himself,  
  
"One point to Red." He laughed.  
  
Purple got to his feet as the SIR's got to their own.  
  
"I hate you." Purple muttered as he sat down again, this time wearing his seat belt.  
  
"Aw, I hate you too." Red cooed happily.  
  
~*~  
  
The rest of the trip was in silence, now and again a new spat was started. Sometimes for the stupidest reasons, like Red humming the Irken anthem, or Purple making the coffee too strong or too sugary.  
  
But then, the planet came into view. It was a grey planet, and as they neared the whole planet was a baron desolate place. No trees, just grey sand. Sand and rocks. Awe in wonderment!  
  
"...why would Tallest Vasquez want this place? It's so... blank." Red said as he observed the planet,  
  
"Then you don't know Tallest Vasquez very well." Purple replied.  
  
"Yeah whatever..." Red muttered.  
  
~*~  
  
The two stood out onto he landscape, the wind was quick and painful when it hit them in the face, Red almost toppled over but managed to regain his status before landing in the sand.  
  
"Hmm... I don't know what we'd do here..." Purple muttered to himself,  
  
"Purple really, it's just another planet for the Irkens to rule over! That's what's important. Now come along, we've gotta check this whole place out and report back soon." Red replied, and walked forward slowly.  
  
"I dunno Red, something tells me this place isn't deserted at all..." Purple glanced around, his Irken senses were picking life forms of some sort.  
  
"Stop being so paranoid Purple, nothing is-AHHH!!" electricity suddenly ran through Red's body, he screeched and tried to make his pod function again, but it seemed to be disabled now. But then he fell through the ground and vanished from sight!  
  
"RED!" Purple dove for his partner, but Red already vanished beneath the ground and the area was covered by sand again. The wind whipped around him and howled, as if laughing at it's new capture.  
  
"RED! RED WHERE ARE YOU?!" Purple dug at the sand, but there seemed to me nothing but sand and more sand. Whatever had shock Red and dragged him under was gone from sight.  
  
Purple got to his feet and looked around, still nothing moving or breathing at all. He could run back to the ship, and contact other Irkens, but by then it might already be too late for his partner. He had no idea what they were doing to him, but he was going to find him.  
  
~*~  
  
Red's body was cowering in fear in a metal cell, surrounded by bars and the only source of light was a lamp, faintly glowing in the distance. He was trembling because the temperature under the planet was freezing, and he was now bare skinned.  
  
He didn't even have his pod anymore, all his armour and means of self defence were gone. They had been ripped off as he was dragged under by the invisible metal arms, and then thrown here. He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to warm himself but that didn't work at all. You know how skinny Irkens are, so it's hard for them to generate their own heat.  
  
"Who-who's there? I, I know you're there!" Red slowly got to his feet, but still felt concerned since his body temperature was rapidly diminishing and he was naked.  
  
A beeping sound replied his cry from the darkness.  
  
"I knew it! Show yourself you cowardly snake!" Red gripped the cold steal bars in his slim fingers, rage almost frozen on his face.  
  
The beeping sound replied, then a many legged creature crept from the dark depths. It was a robot, that looked very similar to a Earthian Spider, but Red doesn't know of Earth or spiders, so to him it looked like a pod had come alive, and sprouted a body. It's head resembled that of the classic `Alien' from the movie of the same title, but it's entire body was metal.  
  
Red drew back in fear for about a split second, before the rage shot out again.  
  
"What are heck are you?!" Red shouted at it. The head blinked it's lime green eyes and advanced forward. It spoke in a series of beeps and whizzing sounds, and somehow Red understood the noises.  
  
"Then you're a FREAK!" Red screamed at it's face, gee, Red sure ain't got no fear eh? "What are you going to do to me you pile of clattering JUNK?!"  
  
The alien sniggered, well it sounded like sniggers, and replied with another amount of whizzing and beeps. Red's face turned from that of rage into complete fear,  
  
"I'm... I'm not going to allow that! I'm not gonna have my body turned into THAT!" he yelled, but his body suddenly felt weak, his body temperature was dropping quicker and quicker. He suddenly slumped down, his head now against the cold bars as he shivered. The alien giggled again, and said one last thing before vanishing back into the darkness.  
  
Red lifted his gaze a little, and his antennae then rose and touched tip to tip. He spoke softly so not to gain attention to himself,  
  
"Red contacting Purple... please receive Purple... please receive..."  
  
~*~  
  
Purple, now using his pod legs, was searing the ground for an entrance to beneath the planet, but nothing was working at all. He had moved boulders, hoping they'd lead to a passage way, but nothing. Suddenly his antennae's touched tip, and he heard Red's voice in his mind.  
  
"Red contacting Purple... please receive Purple... please receive..." Red's voice was growing fainter,  
  
"Purple receiving Red!" Purple's mind screamed in alarm, he heard a weak cough.  
  
"Purple... I'm... I'm being held captive... aliens, aliens like machines... they're going to turn me into one... so very cold Purple... so very..." Red's voice was shut out by a static flare of sound, and Red was gone.  
  
"Red! Oh Irken in Fire!" Purple then felt it, a sizzle from one of his legs. He turned and saw some light blue sparks surrounding his rear leg. He whipped around and the same instant he kicked at it, and the little machine which had it's own legs, broke on impact.  
  
Purple moved the sand out of the way, revealing a portal-like creature, round, and had legs and was a robot. He touched a button and it opened up, he glanced down and he saw nothing but blackness.  
  
He sent for reinforcements via transmitting a message to his SIR, and then vanished down the hole.  
  
To be continued!  
  
Oo the suspence! 


	2. A hero returns...?

Robotic Tallest  
  
Part 2  
  
By: Cartman's Girl  
  
~*~  
  
Purple landed in the darkness, his pod legs making faint tapping sounds, showing the ground was metal. The legs recoiled back into his pod and at the same instant, a robotic hand whips a pair of night-vision goggles over his face and vanishes back inside as well.  
  
The room was made entirely of wires! The floors, walls and ceiling were walls. Some crackled with electricity, and Purple slowly made his way along the corridor. He could sense a presence all around him, as if the whole planet was a living robot.  
  
He then heard a whizzing sound from far away, as if in his head and then the brutal cries of a familiar voice.  
  
"Red..." Purple mouthed to himself. He then took to running, and when Purple runs, Purple **runs**. He was the fastest Irken in the Academy, and was voted most likely to crash through a wall before realising it. He leapt over smaller robots which could do nothing with the intruder, and just shoot their robotic limbs at him.  
  
The screams were becoming closer, and soon Purple came to a halt. He was on a walkway now, which towered over a very deep area. Down below he could scarcely make out a light, giving off flashes now and again. Each time a light flashed, Red's screams were heard again.  
  
Purple's eyes narrowed, and his pod's legs shot out and gripped onto the wall, and he slowly began his decent. As he got closer, he began to understand some of the whizzing going on.  
  
"No use struggling, Irken... no use..." came a vicious voice out of the darkness.  
  
Red's grunts were soon heard, and Purple saw him. Below an attack-proof glass roof, he saw Red strapped onto a metal table. Wires were running into his body and his mouth was covered by what seemed to be a metal mask. His thin, now weak body was still trying to break free from the table to reach his pod, which sat off in the corner slowly being dismantled by another robot.  
  
Stood around the table were a whole lot of robots sliced with aliens, it was like, a class learning how to change aliens into creatures like them! One alien/robot lifted a tentacle, and the head alien nodded at it.  
  
"Sir, why can't we just dissect him and have a look at his guts?" a robotic voice asked.  
  
"Haha, we've already dissected many Irkens before this one, we know how they function. But now, this is to be the FIRST Irken to be transformed into a cyborg!" declared the head alien, which was the one that Red had been speaking to earlier.  
  
"Oh I see!" came the reply, "Spiffy."  
  
Purple's hatred was boiling, he had never been an Irk to show his anger before but seeing his comrade in such a state he could barely control it. But then he saw it, it wasn't a metal mask over Red's face... it **was** his mouth, slowly his skin was being over run with metal, and it wasn't just his mouth that was suffering! Now his feet were beginning to transform into metal.  
  
He had to work fast to save Red and he didn't have much time, it seemed with every minute, another centermetre on Red's body was over taken. His pod then whipped out a small round device, it was a bomb. Guaranteed to blast through attack-proof glass and calculating the shock, Purple could leap down, free Red and get out of there within a minute.  
  
Another scream from Red, and another piece of his body was over taken with the metal, and Purple worked quickly. He set the small bomb down at the top of the glass and his pod legs pin pointed time for explosion, and how long the smog that would be emitted would last. The smog was Purple's own personal touch, since he thought smog was kewl.  
  
Then it went off.  
  
Chaos, pure, unending chaos. Smoke billowed out down through the classroom and the students, as well as teacher panicked. With this chance, Purple leapt down onto the operating table, and using his laser zapped the wires away from Red, and threw another bomb into the main machine that was working on Red.  
  
Red's eyes were closed, this wasn't a good sign to Purple. He grabbed his partner around the middle, he leapt across the room and grabbed Red's pod and strapped it back onto Red's back.  
  
"GET THEM!!" came the voice of the teacher. But Purple was already out of the room and climbing back up the tower towards the light that was blaring down from above them. Smaller robots shot out from the walls, shooting at Purple and Red.  
  
Not wanting Red injured anymore, Purple blocked the shooting with his own body and legs, and finally he broke through the ceiling and into the desert wasteland that was the planet's surface. He then pulled from Red's backpack another bomb, but this one was pure black, and the size of an egg. He put Red's hand to it, as well as his. He then dropped it down the hole from where he had just left, and ran.  
  
He only had a few precious minutes to get to their Voot Runner and get off the planet before the explosion would occur, and the explosion would destroy the entire planet. Finally he saw it, but he knew he couldn't make it on foot. His legs shot out and with long strides he finally arrived, and dashed in.  
  
Purple left Red on the floor of the Voot Runner and started the engine, it roared to life and soared upwards and outwards, away from the planet. As the SIRs tended to Red's wounds, Purple looked back at the planet.  
  
"Three... two... one...." He counted, and as he said one, the whole planet exploded into a fiery mass of doomness!  
  
"Take THAT!" Purple yelled into the blackness as fragments of the planet now floated in space, as well as metal pieces. He then set the Voot Runner for Irk, and turned his attention to Red.  
  
Red was a mess. His wounds were pretty bad, and he was bleeding a lot. It seemed the metal on him was slowly contracting, and falling away from his body. A SIR was now bandaging his leg and now finally, Purple realised Red was nude.  
  
"Oh dear Irk..." he muttered, he quickly grabbed a sheet from the sleeping compartment and threw it over Red and the SIRs, to allow them to work in privacy and also he wouldn't have to look at Red's skinny self again.  
  
~*~  
  
Soon Irk came into view, Purple had never been so happy to see his home planet again. Red was still unconscious, but much better for ware and his replacement armour was now in tact and in place.  
  
"So, how should I tell the General I blew up a would be planet of Irk?" Purple asked his comrade, who was still out like a light. He stared at him, as if waiting for a response.  
  
"Yeah I guess you're right, truthfully. A fellow Irk was in danger so I did what any other Irken would do. Save him and blow up the planet. Makes sense... wonder why they didn't send back up like I asked PS to..." he glanced at his own SIR, that had purple eyes and was shut off for the time being. He shrugged it off as they neared home.  
  
~*~  
  
"What do you MEAN they're still alive?!" roared the Irken General. They had received PS' message, but Red and Purple had always been known for their fooling around and messes they caused, they actually wanted both dead and gone!  
  
"That's what I meant Sir! Reports have come in of their return, Sir!" reported Galvas, a young Irken new to the Invader Section, yet already a secretary towards the General.  
  
"Blast!" the Irken General roared, slamming his fist onto the table. "Very well... we'll see how lucky they are from now on... heh heh heh."  
  
~*~  
  
Red awoke a week later, he was in the hospital wing and still very weak. His eyes slowly opened and he looked around the room, other injured Irkens, some more lucky them him, wounds wise, lay across from him.  
  
"Wha..." he muttered, then turned his head again and there, sat besides his bed was... "Purple...?" Red seemed surprised to see his partner there.  
  
"Well, good morning to you too Red." Purple declared happily as he saw Red was now awake again.  
  
"What... what happ.." Red couldn't even finish his own sentence, so Purple did for him.  
  
"Happened? Oh simple. Those cyborg aliens wanted to turn you into the first ever Irken Robot, luckily for you I arrived, saved you and bombed the whole planet into pieces." Purple explained casually, as if he was just reporting that he had gotten a finger cut.  
  
"Why... why'd you save... save me?" Red stuttered,  
  
"Hey Red, we may argue a lot `n pull at each other's antennae like crazy, but you are my partner and if anything did happen to you, I don't know what I'd do." Purple replied softly, then smiled at Red. "You are my best friend after all."  
  
"Heh... I.. I didn't know that..." Red replied.  
  
"Well sure, where else would I find an Irk to put up with me so well?" Purple asked, grinning now.  
  
Red chuckled slightly while Purple read over his progress.  
  
"Well well..." Purple muttered, Red looked up at him, that didn't sound right.  
  
"Well what...?" he asked.  
  
"Seems the machine triggered something in your DNA pattern, and you've grown over a foot taller in the past week! You're as tall as me now!" Purple declared. Red looked somewhat surprised.  
  
"...I'm no longer short?" he asked, this felt like a dream, it had to be. Or maybe it was Heaven!  
  
"No longer Red, you're gonna get a lot of respect now from those who used to make fun of you." Purple replied, returning the progress report to the end of the bed.  
  
Red finally looked down at himself, gee, his feet did look a long way off, even if it was only over a feet taller, it seemed bigger to him. He grinned slightly,  
  
"I'm tall... heh, next thing you know Purple, I'll be Tallest Red." He smirked,  
  
"Oh yes Red, Tallest Red! Ruler of the Irken Empire with an iron fist of fury!" Purple replied, smiling slightly.  
  
"And since I'm your height... with his esteemed comrade, Tallest Purple!" Red added. Purple rolled his eyes.  
  
"Don't be stupid Red, there's never been two Tallest and there never will. You need your rest now, go back to sleep." Purple got to his feet, "I'm gonna report to the troops about your progress, kay?"  
  
"All right..." Red replied. Purple began to leave, when Red sat up a bit, "Oh, and Purple?"  
  
"Yeah Red?" Purple looked back at him,  
  
"You're my best friend too." Red said, smiling a bit.  
  
"Glad to know it." Purple replied, then left the room.  
  
Red lay back down on his bed slowly. Well, it was good knowing he really had a friend now. Sure, a friend he had loathed since birth, but this Irk had saved his life when he could have just left him there to become a robot. But Purple wasn't like that, to hold a grudge that badly. He didn't even know if Purple could hold a grudge.  
  
Either way, Red smiled to himself as he imagined himself and Purple as the Tallest, over seeing their people becoming more and more powerful. He grinned like that all through his days of rest for the coming days, unaware that one day, his dream would become reality.  
  
The End!  
  
Well, not really. I'm still gonna write fics based on Red and Purple before they became Tallest, don't you worry. Hee! Fanart to this fic would be greatly appreciated, as well as comments. ^.^ 


	3. Art

Art  
  
Just some artwork that goes with this, for those who want to see it.  
  
http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=84441 ~ Purple with his futuristic shadow.  
  
http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=84447 ~ Red with his futuristic shadow.  
  
http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=85549 ~ Tallest Vasquez.  
  
http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=85555 ~ Red and Purple face off.  
  
http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=86902 ~ Purple carrying Red to safety. 


End file.
